Kris Jordan

I may have paid my idiot tax today at Wal-Mart. Credit for the concept goes to Joel Sutherland. Essentially the phrase idiot tax refers to an almost guaranteed sum of money to spend monthly because you made an idiot mistake. (As opposed to what “idiot tax” turns up on Google: state run lottery.) On the order of $30-$50/mo can be written off for just being an idiot. His example is locking his room mate out of the house when leaving for a vacation and having to pay a locksmith.

My idiot tax for January was in the self-checkout process at Wal-Mart. While talking to my dad and checking out I decided I needed cash so I chose to withdraw $40 on the ATM card. The problem is, when I went to pay for dinner an hour later, there were a total of no $20’s in my wallet. Whoops, I’m an idiot. How I forgot to pick up the cash the machine dealt me, not quite sure. Thus my idiot tax has been paid.

Tomorrow will be a good test for one of my own theorems: “most people are fundamentally good people.” Chances are better than not that if you drop your wallet, forget your credit card, etc. - whoever finds it is a good person and will act accordingly. I would conjecture chances are *really* good, like >95%. For example, I left my credit card in the drive-thru at Wendy’s the other week. I realized this that night. Forgot to do anything about it the next day. Two days later I drove back out there and they had it for me. I’ve got faith in people. Cash is a different ball game, though. I wouldn’t blame someone for claiming my idiot tax and calling it a lucky day. I also wouldn’t be surprised if I’ll be able to pick up the money tomorrow and it being my lucky day. Most people are fundamentally good people.